I definitely hope this won't be the last post in our blog, lest you guys remember me as the leader who made a grand and humiliating entrance at 10.20AM for the last official YEP meeting which was supposed to start at 9AM sharp.
I am sorry.
But...there is an essay that still needs to be typed.
I remember meeting up with Rosie at AMK Macs late last December, telling her that I needed a co-leader to start a YEP. God gave me a miracle when Rosie agreed almost instantaneously, and a great one she turned out to be. We spent weeks trying to think of a name for our yet-to-be-born project. Should it be called Project Bintang (Star)? Should it be called Project Start-Kaki? (something like kickstart)...or should it be called.....? Finally, we decided to settle on the simplest name of all - Project Masyithoh.
The two of us then began our intensive MANhunt (literally) for a treasurer and a secretary (a tough job), and by more strokes of grace we managed to con an unsuspecting Winston and Zong Hua into our team. Just like the rest of you, I am not sure if they knew at that time, what kind of crazy adventure they were about to get themselves into.
Then of course, we began our mass recruitment on IVLE, and when the number of applications by females came POURING in while the number of male applicants remained dismal, Rosie and I got pretty worried. I remember that night when ZH and I went round the campus publicizing our project illegally in toilet cubicles - perhaps that was how you found out about us.
Then, we interviewed one applicant after another, and ended up with the most perfect team we could ever find. In the bus on my way back home today, I flipped through your YEP Reflection Forms, and saw that quite a number of you had stated how you much you appreciate the team's diversity, and the fact that it was made up of people of such different personalities. In that sense, it was a tiny success for us, for we had, intentionally sought to recruit a mix of introverts/extroverts, serious pple/weirdos, and what not. It turned out to be a beautiful mishmash, and this period of being with you guys has made me realize how much I really appreciate and cherish every single one of you for who you are =)
It has been a 6-month long journey that turned out to be a whole lot more amazing than what I had ever expected or imagined. There's no need to go into the details of the experiences we shared, the special friendships we forged, the things we learnt, and the beautiful memories that will lie, forever, untouched, somewhere in a part of our hearts.
But from the depths of my heart, I will miss everyone of you, even as we continue our own life journeys, jump-starting our careers (Winston, Edward, Tian An), plunging into a whole new world (Zong Hua into the world of France, Yao Yang and Fake Ah Beng into the world of uni life, Sharon into the world of vegetarianism - I love the last one the most), and you bet I will miss the times we spent together.
And I will miss every single one of you, for the times you made me laugh cry, for the times you were happy, for the times you smiled and made me feel like everything I did was worth it.
Nevertheless, a part of me wishes that YEPs could be less of a hit-and-run thing, but instead more of a sustainable, long-term commitment to the betterment of a part of the world. Then again, as I mentioned during our last pre-trip meeting at NUS, YEPs are not just about what we do, but are also about what we think.
To me at least, it is the mind, the mindset, the thoughts we hold, the ways in which we approach things, and the lenses through which we look at the world and people around us which matters most. And in that sense I think I have failed as a leader - not utterly, but that there is simply so much left to be discovered, digested, and deliberated...so much more to be said.
It is this sheer vastness of unexplored ideas, thoughts, and cultures that is beyond what I could do in a long yet short 6-month YEP journey. And for that, I can only beseech you guys to see our beloved Project Masyithoh as a platform to reach out to newer and greater heights, with your own passions, dreams and determination.
I have absolute faith that we recruited the right people - all of you with your own ways of loving, your own curiosities, and your own desires for helping others, whichever community or particular social group it may be. And however you do it, the only advice I can give is to dare to be the change you want to see in the world (that overused but no less powerful quote), after which the only thing I can provide is my utmost support.
This is the time when there is nothing more I can do but retreat into the background, sit, wait, and pray that some day your little seedlings of love will grow into bigger and mightier projects with unbeatable spirits of their own.
I was at the neurologist last afternoon, with my 70 or 80+ years old doctor, his hair all turned white. Bored as he might have been in his clinic which was rather sepi (deserted) for the day, he asked about our project and said, Congratulations. These are things you should do while you're still young, so that when you grow as old as me, you can look back and say, I did this...this....this...... =)
Enough of my essay, I am deliberately yet reluctantly ending it here lest I inadvertently create in you a dread for reading long pieces of texts (if I have not already done so).
But thank you for coming into my life, thank you for being a part of Project Masyithoh, and know that I will miss every single one of you.
With love, happiness, and sadness,
Feng Yi
"But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
You'll learn things you never knew you never knew"
- Colours of the Wind
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